The Pre – wedding of Vivi & Ben by Nguyen Nho Toan
Do you want me to write you something for ours ? Like some words about our relationship?
Here’s what I wrote . I call it CHOOSING .
I don’t consider it romantic to be unconditionally attached to a person; to feel resigned to stay together because you “made a commitment.” I wouldn’t want to make someone feel like that, to feel like that about someone… It’s not love if you only love a person as they were once. People change, people grow. I expect to, I expect my partner to. I may not even like how they change, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t. I’d be more concerned if they didn’t. I don’t see any intimacy in being chained to each other for life. You remove the free will. It’s no longer a choice. I consider our partnership a conditional one: “as long as you grow, as long as you support my growth, as long as you want to be here, want to do this with me, then by all means, let’s continue.” I want to wake up every morning, look into their eyes and think “Yes, I want this.” We do not make commitments, we make choices. Constantly. I want them to choose me, for me to choose them. And more than 5 years later.
We’re still choosing each other .